Posted by Daniela Backer

How do you measure love? There’s a book called the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  According to Dr. Chapman, there are those who measure love by:

1)      Gift receiving.  This person feels loved when you buy them gifts.  However, it’s not about materialism, it’s about the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift.  So when your significant other forgets a birthday or anniversary, or buys a thoughtless gift, then there’s a problem.

2)      Acts of Service.  Helping your significant other with the household chores or with the baby speaks volumes.  Cleaning your woman’s car or making your man his favorite dish can really win some brownie points.

3)      Quality time. This person wants and needs your undivided attention.  The more quality time you spend with him/her is the more they feel loved and appreciated.  So put the PDA aside, turn the TV off and listen and enjoy your significant other’s company.  That’s not asking for much.

4)      Words of affirmation.  Tell your significant other how much you appreciate them or how beautiful/handsome they are.  Let your significant other know how talented and smart they are.  Your unsolicited compliments and words of affirmation will make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

5)      Physical touch.  It’s not just about sex.  It’s about those touchy feely moments.  You know, when you hold hands, wrap your arm around their shoulder or waist, or caress their back.  The slightest touch can really make their day. 

So what’s your love language?  I believe that the ideal love language would be a combination of all 5.  However, if I had to choose one, I would say……. acts of service.  I believe that your willingness to do something in order to please me speaks volume!!! To me, love is what it does.  So more importantly, I measure love by your level of sacrifice.  What are you willing to sacrifice for me? Will you sacrifice your time? Will you sacrifice your sleep?  Will you go the distance for me?

I remember when I totaled my car during my 2^nd year of law school.  I was car less and campus was over 30 miles away.  I had no way of getting to and from classes.  Some days I could rely on public transportation, while other days my classes were late so I had to bum a ride.  I had a friend who lived 5 minutes away from the school.  She gave me a key to her apartment and often times loaned me her car.  That was love.  I had another friend who lived near the school, but worked near my house.  Coincidence? No, but that divine order is for another day.  He would pick me up on his way to work and loan me his car all day. That too was love.  During this time, I had close who never even offered me ta ride.  Like I said, campus was far from home, so something as simple as dropping me off said a lot.  It was about the sacrifice.  It was the act of service. It’s moments like that when you know who’s really on your side or who really “loves” you.   I can go on and on.  Oh, don’t let me talk about who had my back during a period when I was unemployed.  Wait, did I get sidetracked? Yikes!

Anyway, I want to hear your thoughts.  What is your love language?  How do you measure love? Do you measure romantic love differently?